Often God speaks to us, if we’re willing to take the time to really listen. After Corey’s accident I had a lot of time to pray and listen to God speak to me.
My walk with God became so much a part of me. I literally yearned for it. I would get to the hospital every morning, check in on Corey and get the latest report and then if I was able to go right then, I would go to the chapel and pray. If not, I would try to get there eventually during the day. If circumstances didn’t cooperate and I wasn’t able to, I would pray in Corey’s room.
I longed for this time with the Lord. I liken it to a new mom who yearns for her baby to be in her arms…even to the point where her arms physically ache for her baby. I had that longing for the Lord.
He was and is my comfort and my strength. He carried me through so much of all this. My relationship with the Lord is still strong, but it’s different now. That was a season of uninhibited total surrender. It’s hard to explain. Maybe if you’ve been through a tragedy in your life, you can relate?
I often say, there is actually one thing I miss about those days after Corey’s accident….my very intimate relationship with the Lord.
July 11, 2011 (morning):
I opened my Bible just now (at the hospital–9:15 am) and I knew I wanted to read a Psalm. I felt led to Psalm 146, which starts out with, “Praise the Lord.” My first thought was that’s not the one I need. I need one about grieving.
But then I thought about all the praising we did yesterday and thanked the Lord again for all He has done and shown us through this. I read the Psalm and it fit perfectly! One of my thoughts this morning was, “What if he’s blind?” The Enemy tries to defeat me constantly with awful thoughts! But in this passage, it says, “The Lord gives sight to the blind!” Isn’t that amazing?!!? God is speaking to me through all of this.
Then towards the end of the passage, God talks about “sustaining the widowed.” And I thought, “What are you saying? Am I going to be a widow?” And then it hit me…I am kind of like a widow right now…In the way of having to do life “on my own.”
God is sustaining me. He has given me amazing strength. I know He is literally carrying me. I can hardly say, I’m alone. Absolutely not!! We have had such an outpouring of support from friends and family! I wish you could see it Corey…how many people have come along side us. It is incredible!!
